A Walk in the Forest

Crap

2008-06-30T21:12:00.000-05:00

Our neighborhood had fireworks on Saturday night. We forgot about them this time. We usually go don as they start. It scares the geese. Since we were there last time the geese walked away from us towards another part of the course, away fromt he neighborhood. Since we werent there this time the geese walked up towards the neighborhood. How do we know? Tons of goose crap on our front yard.

Maybe Just A Little Too Late

2008-05-27T19:17:00.002-05:00

Yet again I've been too "busy" to write anything here. I've always been around but haven't had enough gaschmoygidda to post anything. It was a tough spring semester, my toughest yet. With all the projects due for 5 different art studio classes I am suprised I was able to complete them all on time. I had a script to write, photos to take and then manipulate, a film to edit and add sound, and a 3D animation to create. As you might notice that's only 4 things. I was able to combine two projects and just do one. Uh, I guess I could upload and share some of my projects online, except for my script of course. I had to write two scripts for that course. I think my first one was better, but I won't know til I get my grades back.

Um, so yeah, right now I have moved back on campus because I'm taking some summer classes. I feel like I'm in Juvie or something. It's basically a 10' x 6.5' box. SInce there's not really anything to do on campus and since I'm stuck here, I just sit in my box watching tv and catching up on old shows...I wanna do something fun. More later.

Coming Down is Never Fun

2008-04-16T22:14:00.002-05:00

I just came back from a school play. I get a nice high after a play, you know, that feeling you get after seeing your favourite actor or actress in a movie, or something else to that matter. I especially am inspired and enthralled by those of a peculiar and slightly off base comedies. They give me a sense of belonging and inspiration, something for which I can live. I usually have a listless feeling as to why I am here and what will become of me, since of course I haven't made anything of myself so far.

But now, one hour after the end of the play that feeling is almost completely gone. And, yet again I'm back to normal.

Woooohoooooo!

2008-04-10T12:15:00.001-05:00

I only need 10 more classes to graduate! Yeah!! Two more semesters baby!

Wishing For Reality

2008-03-28T20:52:00.002-05:00

I have always wished for a simple life. A small house in the country, a nice quaint town, beautiful sunny hillsides and a gorgeous intelligent funny lady, all of which I would abandon most modern technologies in a heartbeat. I guess you could call it my fantasy life. Basically, it is a land where the Super Savers Super Fantastic Sunday Bargain Extravaganza Bonanza does not exist. This part reminds me of the one Sixpence song. I'm not sad, it is more like, disappointed. This of course is amplified by the stereotypes in which we have grown up with. I wanted the chance to have grown up in the perfect neighborhood with kids my own age and maybe the girl next door. The idea is sort of like Pleasantville but a little less creepy.

Nothing can be perfect. Unless, people say that in order to screw your life over just as they have wasted their lives. But that is quite harsh for even me to say, well, maybe. I cannot change the past. I was the one who made the decisions in my life, at least the ones I could. I have held myself back. I admit that. It is a fear that has led to stupidity. [Kind of weird, eh Lien?]

All I need is a lot of motivation.

Spring Break Bust

2008-03-16T22:26:00.002-05:00

I've decided to start this most with the most negative discussion. I am by no means depressive whatsoever. I never have been and never will be. But that doesn't mean I can't say that I don't know what it feels like to be a depressed person. Every once in a while out of the blue I think about death, well more precisely the fact that I will die one day. When this happens, I sort of lose all sense of reality. I feel like gravity has lost control over me and I am slowly drifting down. A sense of grim fills me as hope and will leave me. I get this feeling for usually about 10 or so seconds. It might be short but it feels like an eternity. I'm just happy I can get out of it. I guess I'm one of the many people who still doesn't believe in their own mortality.

Anyway, it's officially my spring break! Well, it started this past Friday but whatever. Either way it's going to be over really fast. What's worse is that each of my professors have a project due during the week after spring break. They expect us to work our butts off while they relax. That's quite asinine. Plus, they aren't easy. It's like a project a day sort of thing, with some being over a couple of days.

First is a photo project, quite bug and quite impossible. I have to have 5 images printed by Monday.

Second is a 3d animation project where I have to model a human head, and he didn't teach us how to do it, only gave us a crappy tutorial.

Third is a sound project which basically described as a "narrative journey" which means I have to record a 3 minute passage of text and set sound to it, like sound effects and music. I have yet to find my text. I want to use an old and forgotten fairy tale. I cant start on it till I find that text.

Fourth is that I have to finish writing a script for script writing class. I have yet to find an end to my piece. Does anyone know a small town tradition that might involve involve a baby or balloons? Or, anything that I can adapt to use with a baby and balloons?

Fifth is film class, I have to work on and shoot a good chunk of my film. It has to do with doors, portals, etc.

ALl of this and I have girl problems. Ok, not that. I mean I'm having problems with girls. Yeah... I might just do a second post about that matter.

Lost Puppy

2008-02-24T11:37:00.003-05:00

I found out when I got home this past Friday that those lost puppies were caught except for one puppy that was left. Supposedly they, "Animal Management", have been trying to catch the puppy for two weeks or so. My Mom and I caught the puppy in 30 min.

We caught him on our deck, we lured him with a trail of treats and gated him in. I hope he goes to a loving home once he recuperates. If he doesn't I will be so very pissed.

Rememebr, Remember A Dream Not From November

2008-02-03T10:09:00.000-05:00

I get quite sad when I can't remember one of the many dreams I can have in a night. Lately there's been an insurgence of nights with multiple dreams where for a while before I wasn't having an dreams whatsoever. I don't think I can pin that influx of dreams on one specific thing like funky food at night or what. Hell, if I knew what it was I'd eat it or whatever every night.

This past night's escapades were varied and irrevocably forgotten. I only remembered them when I sort of had a flashback sort of effect when seeing something on tv. You know, like on tv where suddenly past effects sort of play fast forward in your head.

Anyway, so the one dream I remember is about a robbery in my sister's house. I'm not sure if I was in her house when it happened or if I came in right afterwards. I think I was there when it happened but it's just a guess. Her house looked like her house but with modifications that dreams always make to reality. So, there were I believe 3 people trying to rib her house, 2 guys and a girl. There was definitely the one girl and at least one or two others invovled. So, there is a robbery in progress and either the two guys got away [or got scared away] or were killed by my sister and possibly her friend. Either way, their girl was caught. After we caught the girl, we called the police but of course no one showed up.

Ok, now I'll get into the main reason why I have written about this dream. We kept the girl "locked up" in my sister's bedroom on her bed. I don't know why but I remember the girl, my sister, possibly my sister's friend, and I were all laying on the bed talking to the girl. It just happens to be that I especially don't want to turn the girl in but sort of keep her around. For some reason I sort become infatuated with her like I'm really into her or something. I remember during the dream talking to her for a long time. And here comes the weird part, the girl has visible tattoos on her arms and whatnot and at one point I notice that she is naked. I know this because when we were talking about tattoos I remember seeing her have tattoos on different parts of her body, from her arms to her back to her lower back and beyond. Not full coverage but big enough ones on the sections of her body. It gets even weirder when I remember cuddling with her, like sort of spooning where I have my one arm sort of hugging her mid section. This happens I guess because at the one point before or after the tattoo talk we are both infatuated with each other and flirting and smiling. There is another part of the dream I remember where we are waiting downstairs talking about when the cops are going to arrive where the thief girl walks downstairs naked. But anyway, this was some weird dream, one where I REALLY wish I could remember it more and could have fallen back asleep to continue the story. Too bad I can't remember her face. I mostly just saw her from behind from the neck down. I do remember she thin and tallish, like close-ish to my height. Man, do I wish I saw her face. I don't even no what her hair looked like. I wish I had more dreams with the random girl in them.

[I wish there were a machine that sort of acts like a VCR and records your dreams. I would think it would be possible one day since they are just images in our heads.]

The only other things going on right now is that I am taking 6 classes this semester. I know I can't handle 6 classes because they are all art classes where there is a heavy workload outside of each class. So, I have quite the tough decision. They are all fun and interesting classes, each with fun people I know in them. It really sucks.

Oh, and there are puppies running around my neighborhood, 5 or 6 puppies with one adult German Shepherd guarding them. We don't know where they've come from but as far as we know they've been running around for the past 3 days and have yet to be caught or returned home. If I see them again today I'll be sure to try to get a picture to post.

Is It Enough?

2008-01-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

I think my final winter term class ends tomorrow. I just know that the spring term is right out in front of me somewhere, ready to give me a great smack to the face that will send me flying until I come crashing down on my butt. I'm trying to picture that now and although I foresee it as comical I bet I wont be come project time.

I've got nothing much to saw publicly as of now besides that I have been disappointed in a couple ways with one thing being more important than the others.

Warming Up to Memories

2008-01-04T23:13:00.000-05:00

I noticed something while I was gone. [I was in New Jersey for the past 3 days. I'll explain later.] Hotels all share the same smell. I am talking about that initial smell one whiffs after first entering their hotel room. I swear, they all have that same special smell. I can't explain it. It's a smell that tells you exactly where you are and aren't at the same time. It's a bit spooky. I like noticing little things or details, if you may, like this and others. It might be weird but that's just me.

This is a good transition into something I wanted to write about for a long time. Smells. Smells play an important role in my life. They generate emotion in me. Well, I'll get to the point of being more specific. They sort of are doorways to the past. There are many smells that generate past memories that by just thinking about it without that smell are hard to remember or these smells give more palpable life to them. If you are lost already, I'm sorry. So, since these smells play such a big role with my past memories, I set out on implementing an idea. So, here is what I did. I guess, what, 3 years ago now when I went to England on a school exchange, I brought along some soap I had never used before. By using that soap for the first time over there, every time I sue that soap now I can almost feel like I am back there again. When I shower with that soap I feel like I am showering back in England in my exchangee's bathroom. So, that smell will always generate that same feeling of bliss of being in england. From now on I plan to do the same thing in many more adventures to places that I dream about.

Ok, that's it about that. I probably confused you since my head isn't all here right now. My mind if up in the "What if" cloud thinking about something entirely different. Plus, I just remembered that i need to email someone.

So, anyway, for the past three days I was in New Jersey, Cape May more specifically. We drop my grandma back home and also I got to visit my relatives that I haven't seen in over 3 years. That was very nice although some of my younger cousins are now more grown up and a bit unrecognizable. Quite scary. We need to visit more often. It was a lovely time although it was like 28F and windy as hell. I got to see the ocean again. Same thing I did last year in January. I'd go into details but you don't want to hear about relatives.

A long time ago on an expensive planet ...

2007-12-28T15:56:00.000-05:00

Pre-Christmas

2007-12-15T11:00:00.001-05:00

Holiday Busy-ness

2007-12-09T00:45:00.000-05:00

School's been cracking down so hard that I haven't posted in a month. That's horrendous! Please poke me in a week to post something long with pictures.

To Not to be Weirded

2007-11-04T18:27:00.000-05:00

Ever have a dream where something totally off the wall happens? I mean it's coming from far far far far far far far ... off in left field. Well, here it actually may be just over the left field wall. Anyway, I don't get many normal dreams, like dreams that are totally based in reality where nothing is out of place physically: sky still blue, no missing wall in the house, couch not moved, etc. And when I get these dreams I always wonder if it's going to become realized or not because, believe it or not I get deja vu and when I get it I realize this event played out exactly how it was in a dream I had a month or more earlier. This dream was about a girl who said she liked me but I turned her away since I wasn't interested in her that way. We're still friends like we've always been. But in this dream, a very short dream, we sat in front of each other in the diner, we both leaned in for a kiss, they I saw the scene from the view of my lips as we moved in and has a french kiss. The dream started with the lean in nd ended with the pull away. I'm not sure what to feel other than weirded out. And what sucks is I can't talk to anyone about it. Yep. Figures.

Birthday Review

2007-11-02T08:47:00.000-05:00

It was a pretty hectic birthday but, it had some good parts to it. I had breakfast with my sister, dinner with my family, and an awesome present from a special friend. [Thanks again! I really mean it :)]

Ocean City + Extra

2007-09-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

It's Coming!

2007-09-25T11:22:00.001-05:00

I'm late, I'm late for a very important ... post! Hang in there, I'm pretty busy and you do want to see lots of pictures, right?

Travel Channel Academy Summary

2007-08-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

I lied. I won't do a post for each day I had the course but I'll just be doing one big post summarizing my experience there.

The Travel Channel Academy was an expensive yet fun class I took with my sister at Discovery HQ in Silver Spring. It taught people how to be a travel journalist. "TJs" are those people on like the show "5 Takes" who go to places in the world, film and share their experience with others. Essentially, other show hosts on that network are TJs but those like Samantha Brown, Anthony Bourdain, Jeff Corwin, and etc are essentially the epitome of what some TJs want to become. As Michael Rosenblum told us, we are essentially his army of content providers. But that doesn't sound too positive, does it? I'll try to explain more along the way, but if I don't, ask questions.

The basics. The people that ran the course seem to be comprised of the people that work directly under Michael Rosenblum. He is I guess what you call an executive producer. He made a lot of shows for the network. So it was quite surprising that this high up creator/producer is teaching the course. They had just come back from making the 5 Takes Latin America show.
We shot 2 films, each being around 1 minute long and cut from 20-30 minutes of raw footage. I'm a pansy and only got 12 minutes for each subject. We shot with those little Sony HDV cams and edited in Final Cut Pro. Editing was easy for me. I ending up apparently using a computer that this one nice lady named Kelly used in Latin America to edit the 5 Takes show. I thought that was cool. I'm missing a few keys things, I just know it.

Day 1, kind of scary. Not knowing what was going to happen I got a bit scared. Funny thing, I was more nervous when I got the confirmation email for the course than when I actually arrived at the place. Now, this is a four day intensive course with the word intensive being quite literal. There were 21 of us in all waiting in the foyer of the building for everything to start. We eventually were invited back to a meeting room where we would be spending each day. Out of those people, only two other people besides my sister and I were locals. Two were from Detroit, one from NYC, one from Hawaii, blah blah blah. Also, 16 girls, 5 guys and everyone was older than me and the ages were actually quite as diverse as each of their backgrounds. Many people didn't even touch a camera before day 1.

Each day started with a lecture about video making, from actual technical stuff to people in the business talking about their job or other channel related topics. We had about two speakers a day, which was awesome. We learned quite a lot about the network and the biz. We went out and shot our first piece on day 1, to get our first time shooting done that way Rosenblum can tear us apart so we can make perfection on the second shoot. I was of course scared not being the most social person in the world. They gave us assignments, which were pre-cleared local businesses. My first shoot, briefly said, bombed. They didn't research well enough. I was assigned to an Ethiopian Carry Out. Sounds cool right? Wrong. It was no bigger than a workplace bathroom and people only came in to pick things up. There was no story there whatsoever. I should've went somewhere else to shoot. I went back with no good footage and was ripped apart at the raw footage showing. But, I got to reshoot. At the reshoot I filmed a barman behind the bar, quite interesting.

Day 2, very relaxing considering the previous day. It was editing day the entire day, no going out into the hot air. Woohoo. Today started out special with a nice talk with Pat Younge, Discovery Communications President. He was a nice British bloke. At the end of my editing day he even came back to look at what I've edited so far. You don't get that kind of contact with a network executive that often. Gives the impression that someone in his position actually cares. I like that. I didn't have any trouble editing since using it last year at school. The day ended up with screening our first films. Each were around the required 1 minute long. Many were pretty good while others weren't as much. Mine went okay because of the shooting quality but not perfectly with my absence of a story. "A Day in the Life of" is never interesting unless you reveal interesting stories of those people. Sadly I still need work finding my stories.

Day 3, nervous. It was the second and final film shoot. This time we got to pick our own subject to film. My sister and I went to a place called Red Wiggler Farm up in Frederick. At the farm was the event called ArtFarm. It was a mini-hippie art festival. My sister ended up filming the most interesting character there, a man named Conrad who makes art cars. Art cars are quite the masterpieces. I at first didn't find any interesting character at first but one sort of eventually fell into my lap. I ending up filming a local artist named Chris who gathered everyone in the festival to create a large peace sign on a hill that he filmed from a small plane. I didn't get all the shots I wanted or him on tape saying some of the things I wanted to hear after talking to him but I got enough to make something out of it. We got back and started to edit before we decided to go home.

Day 4, joyful and sad. It was both our graduation day and finishing editing day for the final film viewing. Of course we started with a speaker and then got right into editing. We had an early deadline we had to make. I thankfully got done early enough to go get myself a much needed lunch. Michael ended up thinking my second film was a vast improvement, well, because this time I actually had a story, a semi interesting one. Again, pretty much everyone was a vast improvement over their first film. When the films ended we all got sad, it was the end of our venture. They gave us cake as we all grouped together for a picture. We chatted for a bit before we had to do a video testimonial from them. I hope my mug gets to be on their site. I was energetic enough.

They will be offering an advanced course for those who have taken the first one. It would be taking place someplace tropical I hear. I might be tempted if the price is right. As I conclude this mammoth watching Samantha Brown and wearing the hat they gave me, please ask away of things you'd like to know more about it or my experience.

Edit: Our forgot to mention the future. Many people submit videos to the channel so that they could get their own shows and stuff. Since we took the course we learned how to shoot and what kind of style they are looking to find, we as alums get to submit videos that essentially go to the front of the line of submissions and we will also get detailed reply about our videos how it worked or not. So, if they truly like something we did they can buy it from us. This they say may lead to them sending us out on assignments for them and possibly even a job.

Travel Channel Academy Day 1

2007-07-26T21:25:00.000-05:00

Today was the first day at the Travel Channel Academy. Basically, its a group of people learning what it is to be a travel journalist for the Travel Channel. It was damn fun and in the Discovery Headquarters in Silver Spring. I'll tell you more about it later but check out the site @ the travelchannel.com/academy :)

I'm pretty knackered so I won't write too much about it til Sunday night. So, please ask me questions about it so I can remember what I want to say.

I Forgot This Lame Story

2007-06-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah so, a few weeks ago after coming back to my sister's place from watching "Paris, je t'aime" with her friend, I locked her, myself, and her dog out of her house in the backyard. My bad.

We went into the house, I locked the front door, she put down her keys [without me knowing], she let the dog outside and she followed the dog, I then follwed her, the sliding glass door then "locked itself" with us outside. Oops. The thing is, that door is whack. We have to lock it a certain way thats really weird. I didnt know it was in prime position to lock as I slide the door to close it. But I didnt want to close it, just leave it a little ajar but that bastard decided uh-uh, this crap is locking you out. And so it did.

My sister was piiiiiiiiiiissed. There was now way to get in and she was cranky. Even though I had to pee I kept the mood light as to not freak out. It clearly felt like it would be a while before she felt this was funny. The dog kept looking at the door and looking at us telling us to open the door the whole time we were out. It was cute. In the end we only waited a little over an hour. Our dad had a key to the house and he lved only 35 minutes away. Why it took so long? I don't know.

Being it was a while ago, maybe it's funny to her now? Probably not.

Overcoming Fears Breeds Stupidity

2007-06-08T13:51:00.000-05:00

I have updated so here goes.

On Saturday I went on a PG County Park Commission trip. I usually take classes with them like painting and whatnot but this was a daytrip. Don't laugh but, it was a bird watching trip. It actually wasnt as lame as some of you may think. It of course was outdoors and I know some of you don't prefer the outdoors to the indoors. I like to be outside but camping is something I can never do again. It sucks when traumatic experiences ruin some things. I probably will get over that eventually.

Anywaaaay, we, well the trip was for my Mom really but I wanted to go with her for support, had to wake up at like 6:30 and then leave by 7:30 to get there by 8:15. I admit that I am a morning person. I can wake up early and be awake and ready when needed. My only gripe here was that I had no time for breakfast because my shower sort of took up lots of time. Oh, I forgot to mention somehting. This trip begins at 8:30 and ends at 5:30. Yeah, if I didnt have a good breakfast then I was going to be quite hungry. We did stop for lunch and we did have snack time so it wasnt too bad.

So of course this was a group trip. And heres the thing. Every course I've had with the park commission I have always been the youngest, usually by at least 30 years. This trip was no difference. I was surprised to have one ounger than my mom, but sadly they were only younger by two years. In total there were 6 of us not including the guide. The guide was a 20 something girl. So that was nice. The old people knew the guide because it turns out they're local regulars to the place this trip was based out of so they talked and talked about "hows the family" the whole trip.

We are shoved in a park and planning fugly tan minivan and off we went. Now, I did not know where we were going. It could be up the road or in New York and I would never know. I probably should have asked. It turned out to be about a 40 min trip to a park in state, Black Hill Regional Park. Google Map of park: Reference Map. It was a very nice place. It mostly caters to the lake that its on but it also has hiking and picnic-ing. But after I realized that about the park, I heard what we were doing. We were going on a boat on the lake.

Here's the thing, I don't like boats and I dont like planes. It's both for the same reasons. Each are enclosed spaces [you cant get off when you want really] and there's turbulence with planes and waves for boats. Both freak me out a bit. But I learned that we're going on a pontoon boat. The one we took sort of looked like this but of course a bit more "used".

Pontoons are actually quite stable and we're on still water so it was fine for me. I wasnt freaked out so it turned out to be ok. We were out on the lake for about an hour and a half. It was a HOT day but there was a cool breeze as the boat moved.

We got to see a few egrets as well as TWO bald eagles right next to each other hunting from atop adjacent trees. It was quite nice. We went back to the visitor center, had a few snacks and then went on a trail. We didn't see anything on the trail cause it ended up being quite short and lame, since it turned out to be a glorified sidewalk to the park offices. At least we saw an old gild mine there. We went back to the minivan and ended up driving to a nearby shopping center to have lunch. Everyone went to Subway except I went to Giant to pick up food and then meet them there. The guide lady and I ended up talking. We had an interesting conversation. She is quite a small and svelt girl yet she ended up eating a whole footlong subway sandwich. I'm still amazed how some short, svelt women can eat a lot.

We ended up cutting the trip short. We were going to go somewhere else but it was decided b the guide lady and the old folks that it was getting late. Although we didnt end up seeing many birds, it ended up being a quite nice trip. I could even recommend the same pontoon tour we had, it was quite nice, except for the fat shirtless fisherman also on the lake....ew.

Here are a few pictures. I've been having problems with camera focusing lately so, some are a bit out of focus. Guess my favorite pic!

Here's a bird in a very small nest on this twig of a tree.

Here's an egret or something on the far edge of a cove thing, it was right next to two deers.

Here's a rundown or abandoned beaver dam

Can you spot the two eagles?

Here's closer of the one on the left.

Visitor Center and dock from the lake

Woodpecker hole in dead tree

Spooked Blue Heron flying away

Yeah...I'll leave the commenting to the reader.

Shot of one of the open areas of the lake.

Bird we saw swimming earlier

Barn across the lake from the visitor center

Tree frog

Dock as seen from visitor center balcony

Random brick fireplaces out in the middle of nowhere

Gold Mine door, quite spooky when you open the door

The Gold Mine Reference, it's pretty much a small mound with a door on it

I Knew It Had to Come Up Sometime

2007-04-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

Well, first of all, I performed a scene with my acting partner in front of the class yesterday. Suprisingly it went well with all the nerves that were cooked up inside of me. We each missed a cue but no major hiccups. Our prof said we did really well and only had one comment for each of us to work on, and they aren't major at all. So, we get to perform it again in front of the class on Tuesday with those minor changes to our act.

But one major kick to the ass for acting is that our choices for a new scene with our new scene partners is due tomorrow. None of us in the class remembered it so we are all kind of screwed. We were all worried about the first scene that we overlooked the second.

The title of this blog refers to today as being the first time that I've had to draw from a live, nude model. I was a bit nervous walking to class and a little nervous at the beginning. Thankfully I didn't get "excited". I've never seen a nude woman before today. All i can say is that I am quite a bit less clueless than I was this morning. I still have questions but most have been answered. I knew that during it I was going to either feel very awkward or very amused. I felt a bit weird but I laughed at how horribly I drew her and that made me a lot less awkward. Although, at one point I had to move around a light attached to the ceiling to light her better. So, yeah, we have another model session next Wednesday after we crtique the drawing we made today on Monday. Yeah............

Relief and Regret.

2007-03-22T10:47:00.000-05:00

So, I promised one of you that I would write about why I've been so busy and also so crazy last week. I had loads of stuff to accoomplish before the break. It was a lot of crap.

I had a photo project due on Monday and from that I can say only one thing: I Hate group projects. At college, group projects DO NOT teach you teamwork, they only teach you time management as you try to find time to work with your teammates. After that project, I know exactlky who the bitch in class is all about. And now I have another group project in that class, thankfully this person is much better.I had to also get my drawing portfolio together for the mid term evaluation. Basically, it's just my teacher making sure you got all your out of class work done. Of course, I was behind.

So, this week I have to complete an chariscuro art project, create a short film for film class, research for photo class, study for a mid term exam, and memorize a scene from a play. Quite a lot before Monday.

And today. Today I went to the dentist. Let's just say I cost a lot of money and will be in pain a few times in the near future. And, oh, yeah, I got a stupid hair cut. It'll grow back out eventually.

It's Been a Month...

2007-02-14T09:16:00.000-05:00

Not much has happened since my last post. The winter session ended and the swimming went ok. I can't really do freestyle but I can sort of do the backstroke so that's some sort of imporovement over the previous inability of not being able to swim at all. I didn't have any break before this spring term started.

The classes are good and fun. It's definitely a nice change of pace for once. I'm taking B&W Photo, Film, Drawing, History of Animation and even Introduction to Acting. Acting class is quite special indeed. It's definitely quite the can opener to let someone out of their shell. We've done group and partner exercises that are quite intimidating. Like yesterday, for instance, we gave each other messages in a sort of conga line followed up by a mirroring exercise and before those two exercises we acted like animals scavenging for food in the darkness of the room.

Photo has been fun although, we've had a small ice/snow storm that only produced a couple of inches and it has closed the photo lab yesterday and today. Why am I so disappointed? I have a photo project due on Mon. No lab means me not able to work on the project. :(

A Little Cheer

2007-01-04T22:59:00.000-05:00

Break of Relief

2006-12-21T01:29:00.000-05:00

Today was my final exam. Spanish. Grr. Well, here's hoping that I passed the class because if I didn't ... I have to take it, again.

So, tomorrow, well today, I have to decorate our whole house for Christmas, 4 days before. Yeah yeah, we're late. It's just that nothing fextive gets done around here when I am not here. When I was little, we celebrated EVERY holiday with decorations outside and in. All we have now is Chirstmas and unless I do something even that wont happen this year.

My sister graduated this Wed night. It was neat, and short, just the way I like graduations. There's the school of journalism' personal graduation today, Thurs.

So now, I sit here ready to go to bed hoping to get up, unpack my crap from school, clean the house, and then finally create some sort of Christmas in this house.

Wow. [20 min later] If I knew about this earlier, and I guess if I lived in Belgium, I could have won the auction on eBay.be to win a private concert with my Hooverphonic. :( It ended up only being 5.151,00 euros.

Yey!

2006-12-04T17:35:00.000-05:00

Look what I got:

Dream World

2006-11-17T11:55:00.000-05:00

I tend to go into my dream world when things aren't going so well in the real world. Lately, I've been visiting there more than usual lately. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing but no one likes it when their day just turns out to be utter poo. My dream world is quite imaginative, as everyones should be. But of course each world is different in shuch a way as to show someones true character. I'd share my world but I don't want to sound like a movie right now. Although, I do envy movies much.

"Happy" Day?

2006-10-31T01:24:00.000-05:00

Happy Biffy to Me.

Hooverphonic - Mad About You @ Werchter 06

I feel, I want to feel.

2006-10-26T23:35:00.000-05:00

This always helps:

Hooverphonic - Magenta @ Werchter 06

Lost Touch with a Paradox

2006-10-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted an entry in a very long time. Things have changed, but not really. Everything has just been very different lately. It's like a blanket of something negative just covered every aspect of my life. I've lost count of all the reasons a long time ago.

I got my dear Lien's postcard on Friday, even though it was at my house earlier that week. It made me smile. That's rare recently. Smiles.

Mummph.

2006-08-22T22:40:00.000-05:00

We have a new neighbor. Say, "Welcome!"

We didn't see the dove today...I wonder where they went.

So, another week of freedom about to be wasted. :( Can we all make it worth it? Let's all do fun stuff before we go back.

Troubling Future

2006-08-19T23:34:00.000-05:00

I watched the movie Amelie for the first time in my life today. I don't know why I haven't seen it much earlier in my life. It continues, like others have, to make me think about my future.

I've been cleaning out our "garden" trying to free our tomato plants from wild grass and weeds. I found this pair yesterday. Today, so far, I've only found the first.

Again, I haven't Photoshop'd these images beyond cropping and adding a border. Cropping the first one was hard and I still dont know if it was the best choice.

Adventure Me.

2006-07-30T11:14:00.000-05:00

The Great Smoky Mountains. Well, one part of them.

I wish I could go to more places like those mountains. We couldn't stay long and we didnt even see 1/64 of the place but I loved every part of it. When I get older I'd go on a new adventure every day and document evry part of it in pictures. I'm not much of a writer but pictures help tell my stories greatly. I want to be that crazy old guy up in the foothills of the mountain that tells great stories. If only it was possible now.

Adventure me.

Southern Traveling Pt. 2

2006-07-27T11:21:00.000-05:00

Day 3: Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Huntsville
Well, today was fully spent in the city of Huntsville, Alabama. We changed into a better hotel room because the first one was a smoker's room. From noon to five, we were at the U.S. Space & Rocket Center/Space Camp.

We got in at right inside the front doors was this.

Only some of you, well I bet none but I hope one, will recognize this bike. I was amazed and surprised to see it having long forgotten it was here. It was the nice touch to the day.

After that we explored the musuem a little before going to an IMAX presentation. The IMAX thing was called Magnificent Desolation and it commented my Tom Hanks. It was a nice feature on moon exploration and the Apollo missions. After that it was more museum stuff and then the rockets outside. It was a long day but it felt short because its the first time we spent a whole day in one place.

Poor poor Miss Baker. At least she was buried next to her huband, well, I sadly forgot his name. :( Picture just photoshop'd a tad bit.

I might look angry but I'm not. It's just a content face. It's hard to smile naturally, especially when the 101 degree weather with the beating sun is in your face. :)

Next stop, Scottsboro, Alabama to the Unclaimed Baggage Center.

Day 4: Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Scottsboro
We woke and packed the van for yet another hotel. We shopped and Best Buy and Barnes & Noble before picking up my dad from work. From there we drove to the Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama. It was quite nice but not as big as we have seen on tv. We each got at least one thing. Things are pretty cheap there, but some arent, especially electronics and art. The musuem was nice seeing that character rom the Labrynth all up close. He's quite the scary guy.

From there we headed east. We drove on many scenic high roads looking down into hilly and almost mountainous valleys with good size bodies of water.

As we drove towards Georgia, we stopped for a well deserved food break. We ate at a Cracker Barrel, the second one we ate at this trip. This one started out horrible. Our waitress was fresh out of the box and got our order switched with the people next to us. It was funny how similar our orders were. After 45 min of waiting for our food, we ate and got a drastic discount on our food. It was nice hearing the people's southern accents.

We arrived here in Buford, Georgia outside of Atlanta. Tomorrow we will shop at The Mall of Georgia before heading back up the coast.

Sorry for no pics, we didnt do anything picturesque enough.

Day 5: Thursday, July 20, 2006
Buford
Again, for those looking here for pictures, I don't have any. So, you can stop pretending to care about what I write and leave.

Today we awoke in the town of Buford, GA just northeast of Atlanta I believe. We awoke to the same drill of packing up and getting out of the hotel. We spent the mid day at The Mall of Georgia. It's most likely their biggest in the state. It was a very nice mall. Large enough inside with a few good stores located right outside the food court. It has a Regal theatre with 3D IMAX. Sadly, we couldn't see a movie because of time. We toured the mall and found an area with trailers set up. You know, the kinds you hitch to your car and pull along with you and sleep in. We looked at a nice Airstream Bambi. From there we found an nice nostalgic store entitled "Fandum" It had old time collectibles, like Wizard of Oz and I Love Lucy. Weird thing was, have was old time stuff and half anime. Weird grouping of the two. I talked to the guy abou this store, he caught interest in my Chobits shirt. Supposedly there's an anime store up the street from the mall. Also, this Fandum store goes to many cons, including Otakon. He said I could work the booth for them if I had extra time. Sounded interesting. :)

From there we toured the mall more and then had lunch at Ruby Tuesdays. We had a wonderful server. She had an accent and helped me very graciously to find food I could eat. [I normally get the fajita but all of the Ruby Tuesdays dropped it from their menus since I went last] I got my food specialy prepared by the cook. It was quite nice.

From there we drove out of Georgia, through South Carolina and into North Carolina. Now we are in Charlotte about to sleep off another day. We will only be in this city shortly tomorrow as we eventually head home.

Day 6: Friday, July 21, 2006
Charlotte
Before I begin, here's a pic of that Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama.

We awoke in Charlotte, knowing we couldn't stay past 1 o'clock so as to make it back home in time to watch a tv show. [7 hour drive] We got in the car to tour the major "neighborhoods" of Charlotte. The first was the NoDa district. NoDa is short for North Davidson, the name of the street. It's Charlotte's historical art district. It's seems like a part of the city where'd you normally find me as well as possibly other awesome people. They have like a monthly flew market sort of thing where people sell art and such. Here's a few pics some of the places:

A cool night hangout only open during performances

Clothes store

Cajun Restaurant

Performance Theatre/Film Theatre

Store

Quite the most awesomest looking and feeling restaurant. It has sort of a multi-colored hippie-looking, yoga-loving mushroom feel. [we didnt eat there]

The Smelly Cat Coffee Cafe :D

Empathinc. This has to be the most confusingly neat place. This is especially true when you see their door that says "Hours: Sporatic and/or by Appointment" We weren't sure what it was from the outside. We guessed it was spiritual healers or something. They actually are a gallery by the looks of their website. It's interesting how they say they are the abstract and the concrete. Check 'em out.

After this we drove through other neighborhoods and districts. In their old downtown district at Asherton Mill, we found a nice tea shop called TeaRex. We sat down, had tea, and chatted with the guy who worked there. Wehn we first walked up he was sitting outside, like a customer, so I was surprised that it was he who was working. We bought some tea, learned about tea, and I gave him a tip in his "Good Dharma" jar.

After that we drove to a store for a pit stop. I forgot its name but I call it "Giant Whole" on account that its a cross between Giant and Whole Foods. After this we headed home in time Friday night for our show.

Southern Traveling Pt. 1

2006-07-18T10:24:00.000-05:00

Day 1: Sunday, July 16, 2006
I'm in Tennessee! Well, I got here earlier today. Many GORGEOUS scenic rolling hills as we traveled down the highways. More news later.

Day 2: Monday, July 17, 2006
Knoxville - Nashville
We woke up and checked out of our hotel by 11. We drove straight to the Great Smoky Montains National Park. We were there untill to 2 o'clock. From there we had lunch in Knoxville and then head for Nashville. Saw the Grand Old Opry House and the Opry Mills, like Arundel Mills. From there we stopped and took photos briefly until we reached the capital building. From there, we drove to here, Huntsville Alabama. We are here for two nights.

In the national park, we drove through an Ocean City MD esque town towards the great mountains. We went to the visitors center to get info first, from there we went to the Laurel Falls. It was an uphill walk, 2.6 miles in total to and from. I was worth it:

The warning sign came up twice during the 2.6 mile trip to the falls. All I can say is, those poor poor overweight people. They didnt know what they were getting themselves into. To the falls is was all up hill. We passed by a little girl and her family on the way down next to the .2 mile marker. She was complaining about the walk but the sad part was, she had to walk 1.1 miles to get to it still. Heaven knows how she'll like the walk back down.

Nashville: That General Jackson is one hellova paddle boat. Opry House was closed. :.. It's only open during showtimes 3 days a week. In one of the pictures is the Gaylord Entertainment Center. It's a beautiful building but this picture doesn't show it well. Broadway is the street in one picture. It seemed to have a lot of things going on as we passed by a bar with a live singer and band. She was country, sadly. The city does have some scary parts to it too. The last image is the capital in the background.

More from me later.

The Incident of the Tea & the Toad.

2006-07-08T23:28:00.000-05:00

Two Incidents of Grave Importance:

I'm taking a painting class. I brought in a drink because I always like to have something with me, like water. I brought in a new tea I got from Whole Foods. So, towards the end of class, I took a sip. * insert biggest sour face made after tasting vinegar * Yeah, that's right, I said vinegar. It's special fermented Chinese tea with a little less than .5% alcohol. I was amazed. GT's Organic Raw Kombucha. That's the name. I gave my sister, mom, and dad a sip and got the same reaction from each. It was a fun seeing each of their faces because I knew what was coming to them. Try it if you like, because you can't drink too much of it at a time.
My dad got back home close to 10 o'clock tonight and found a toad on our driveway. It was funny because I also found a toad earlier today while picking weeds out of our front yard. The first toad was slightly bigger than the size of a silver dollar. The second was bigger than the first frog. I have pictures of both frogs but I will put up pictures of the second, since they're digital. Both were perfect gentlemen/ladies. No zoom was used for these images. I tried to frame the picture well as possible at the time.

Vivid Dreams

2006-06-28T08:17:00.000-05:00

Another dream I had, very vivid and surprisingly I am able to recall it pretty well. Here goes:

I was online. She sent me a link to her blog. She had a long post just about me. Telling me all the reason why she hates me with most of the reasons being about my friends, you all. She had a reason for each of you. Then she must have asked about meeting up, I guess, and then I end up in like a hotel room, which was mine.
I walk in and suddenly she opens the door to the room and also enters right after I walk about ten feet into the room. There people talking outside the room but I only heard them briefly. She comes in and says something and wants to show me a tattoo on her lower back. [She had to take of a shirt, meaning she had something underneath, and pants for some reason to show me so I had to push down the top of her panties slightly as I joked that I hope they're near the top cause I was about to see ass crack soon. :S Now that was weird.] She had a few tattoos there but wanted to show me the one of Pooh. Pooh was a part of a triangle-arranged group of tattoos with the top point being an eye. So, part of the message looked like it said, "Pooh sees…" Almost like "Pooh Sees You" or something. It was a weird thing to have over your ass crack but I guess it was a joke for those who read it. She had another one too to the left of these three but I can’t remember it well. May have been a heart, just like the one in the MSN Messenger wink.
She then asked me if she could sleep here since something or whatever prompted her to not have a place to stay. I said ok. [I knew that part was weird in my dream.]
I then proceed to turn around and see a lot of like disinfectant spray, shampoo, and other bottle things like that all lined up on bed. I'm in my pajamas and wanted to sleep. She says they are a present, yeah....., I said thanks but told her I had to move them cause I needed to sleep because I was sooo tired. So I started to move them from the side where I was going to sleep first and she begins take down the covers on the bed. She took them down on that one side for me to get it ready for me. In that process of moving, I turn around back at her and she's spraying my bed with the disinfectant. well, I thought she way just trying to clean it so I was like, "Ok..." I keep moving stuff and I turn around again to find her spraying into the air. I got suspicious. Suddenly, the whole rooms air is filled with this stuff and I either finally realized or she told me, I don't remember which, that she was going to suffocate me with this stuff. :S I go to fight her as she backs towards the exit but then the last thing I can remember being is me falling as she ran out of a second exit with the possible intention to come back shortly with a match in order to ignite and blow up me and my room. In the dream and t he very end when I was collapsed on the floor reaching for the exit in which she used, I could feel my tongue drenched with the spray as I then woke up to feel a similar feeling.

Yeah.......

AOL News - Mid-Atlantic States Brace for More Rain

2006-06-27T19:57:00.000-05:00

AOL News - Mid-Atlantic States Brace for More Rain

For the past week it's been raining pretty non stop. :/ Flooding is everywhere and the flooding here is on the national news as we rise above all rain records for the month. They say it will still rain for a couple more days. But, you never know. Something can happen.

An Old Dream

2006-06-26T12:43:00.000-05:00

There's an old dream I had that I swore to tell no one at the time. But, I did also promise to tell a few people eventually. So, if you wana know, ask away.

Mistaken Identity.

2006-06-17T11:45:00.000-05:00

Lately shopping at stores, I myself have been mistaken, mistaken for someone else. Who you ask? A person who works at those stores. I guess its because of my browsing habitats, especially when I have to go through a lot of things just to find what I cam in for. But the funny thing is, I am not usually wearing the same color or kind of shirt that the people who actually work there wear. I wore my Maroon McNamara t-shirt at Circuit City looking thorugh their whole cd section, it was a $10 everything sale,and this one lady walks up and asks me where she can find a certain Beatles cd. I first turn to show and tell that I dont work there but before I could tell her where to find it she had left in embarresment. I had known where it was since having gone through there, but oh well. :O

Lost Conscious

2006-06-10T23:06:00.000-05:00

My computer when to the doctor. It had a very bad cough. The more active it was the louder it coughed. It's back and better for now.

I'm working on a mini project right now. I had to put it on pause for a bit because of the computer thing and the fact that I can't decide on anything. My ideas change by the seconds. I still need information to make the project worth it or not. I hope to acquire this soon. But still. this project, sadly, will be late. :\ I wanted it on time but I suck. I hope it turns out better than I hope. THAT is will make it worth it. If on the other end of things it turns out a tragedy, then all I know is that I tried to put my all into it. Well, best I can without going over the top. It's not good to get carried away, for me.

I need someone.

2006-05-26T20:20:00.000-05:00

I need someone to talk to right now, preferably a girl.

Freedom + Confusion

2006-05-25T14:05:00.000-05:00

Well, I am finally free from school for the summer. No more exams, no more dorm, no more loud people, no more "confusing and scaring" noises from next door. I just now have to rearrange my life back into order. Currently, I am strewn around in a few boxes and bags around me, the artist in one box and the technophile in another.

I also had a weird dream. It involved someone I know. I was in a movie theatre, back row against the wall. I look to my right and she is there. I don't remember what was exactly said but it included her saying things like "are you old enough?" and "are you prepared?". Any person in this day and age will know that insinuation. What does it mean? I can understand where parts of it come from but the meaning of it is frightening. I don't know what to do about it.

Status Box

2006-05-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

I have this weird fascination of wanting to know about the future. Not like future events and the such but who and what people will be. It be interesting if I could see a status box floating above peoples' heads stating what will become of them. Some might say "model", "businessman", "movie star", "accountant", "criminal", etc. But this "power" could also be abused. I could befriend those who have a good status over their head just so I can get ahead in life. Also, if people see what's above their head they might do whatever they want now knowing that whatever they do won't affect that status. But, the trick is the status above their head CAN and WILL change depending on the present situations. Well, maybe it will.

People later in life like to track back certain things like where they first met or saw their eventual husband/wife. I like to wonder sometimes if some of the people I see or know today will be present in my future and what character they will play. But this would be scary if you couldn't change it if you knew you did not like what will happen. It would be quite funny though if you found out that your current enemy in life is the person you were going to eventually marry. :P

Dreams of Temptation

2006-05-06T19:16:00.000-05:00

I've been having these strange dreams forever. I've grown to now having three categories of dreams: inexplicably insane, future events, oddly sexual. I say oddly because most of them might not seem as sexual to others coming from my mind.

The inexplicably insane variety involves things like dinosaurs crushing the Lowes store while I am inside trying to buy bread. [Lowes is a hardware store for those not in the know]
The future events variety involves scenes that happen in the future in real life resulting in one hell of a deja vu feeling.

The third category explains itself, I hope. It's no big event in my dream, just a small portion of my dreams.

I hope someone I talk to concerning the third category will help me to explain their almost frequency and actions. I'm not the person to talk about them on here. Yeah, sorry folks. :\ I'm not THAT open to the public. Lien? You can help my dear.

Cut to Form Fit

2006-04-17T22:58:00.000-05:00

I definitely know now that there is something major missing in my life. The whole left side of my puzzle of a life is missing. I can only guess at what it is. I just need to feel a switch going click in my head and there I'll be, whole, again. If not the whole side, then just a fragment.

A Warning to All

2006-04-14T14:37:00.000-05:00

If you see this knocking at your door....run.

Conflicts, obstructed.

2006-03-12T22:38:00.000-05:00

Recent talks with a friend made me think about who I am as a person. I share certain beliefs that make me distinct among the people I know. They were challenged the other day. I was confused for the first time about them in a long time. I wonder if it means something has formed that I didn't know existed. Probably not. I do read into things sometimes, too far for any truth to exist.

Well, I am sticking to what I already belief because it's hard for me to change, which I don't see me wanting/going to do.

I probably should run after those my own age. Eh.

Scream. Word. Speak.

2006-02-11T00:48:00.000-05:00

Spanish since freshmen year of high school has been the bane of my existence ravaging my brain with words. Here, today, now, it comes back to haunt me in my foreground with a crushing and cursing look in its eyes. I have never learned to enjoy it, I have never been interested or been fascinated by the Spanish language. This is from my experience with it in high school and the rampancy around the country and the area to which I live. Other languages from Europe has gained my interests, ones I think are more interesting: German, Dutch, Swedish, French, and others. I am currently in another Spanish class, almost withering to death. I never like learning languages. It's too hard, especially for a language I don't interesting at all.

Puzzle, Sovled.

2006-02-01T13:42:00.000-05:00

I am in ecstasy right now. I feel like a buddha who has special powers to float around in the air while in the meditative position. After so many years of having it in a box out of sheer anger, I finally took out the Rubik's Cube and was able to solve it. No, I'm not a genius. An awesome guy's program helped me. I am not at all disappointed that i didn't solve it but I am over joyous in the fact that it's finally solved.

Programs before this one said my cube was unsolvable so, now all I can say is "Fuck You!" to the other programs. :> Mine is like one of the earlier models, not as smooth as the newer ones and creaky as hell [The springs, yes springs, inside it winced in pain as it moved]. I'm taking a picture later of it, not because I am the all powerful nerd who plays with one [Cause I don't] but because it has taken this many years. I am such a dumbass.

Rubik's Cube aside, today was just an ordinary day. Our model airplane we bough after Christmas flew again today, flew right into the ground. It took only a few tries to completely break it, again. It's probably the cheapest one out there but it was fun while it lasted. I seem fascinated by this because it's like one of those events in life that many "perfect" little kids have. Some have the toy boat, other have the toy airplane. It's just like the standard thought that most boys play catch with their dad when they're young. Well, whatever.

I move back into the dorms on campus tomorrow, which will suck so majorly that I'd rather be punched. At least I get to talk to more crazy-assed seniors. I swear it's something other than alcohol and drugs. I get to become 80% or whatever vegan again with the coming of this semester as of the result of the dining hall. Fried Tofu = Yum.

It's just "That".

2006-01-27T00:21:00.000-05:00

I just feel let down lately.

Two For One Deal

2006-01-20T12:11:00.000-05:00

I have to things for you today. One a thought, one a dream.

The Amish are a strange people. They've always been. Well, considering their relation to the modern world they can be said to be strange. There are a few Amish markets around here where, of course, they seel their foods. I haven't been to one in years until last night. They seem to be getting more liberal the Amish. I saw one woman wearing Airwalk shoes and I swear one girl was wearing a sweatshirt with some sort of brand logo on it. But then I look at the older generation and they seem to be in he tradional attire. My dad reminded me of a show that was on that included Amish and they did talk about the different kinds. So I guess, there's more liberal Amish these days and possibly the tradtional Amish will just die out with age. Weird. Next thing to go I bet is the librarian buns in the hair.

It started where I was in the body of a teenage, well my age, Hispanic girl in the bathroom preparing for the day. I was a preety damn good looking if I might add. Walked outside the bathrrom and saw into the living room, where my supposed hispanic father and other family were, and walked in the bedroom. The house was strangley my grandma's old house. then it was straight to my old school where I finally knew that no one knew I was in this body. No one beleieved me. We then went straigh onto the bus that would take us on our exchange trip to england, again. I sat next to Gabe, a close friend of mine. I poked her and said something to her to see if she knew it was me but she got annoyed and moved to another seat of someone else I know, Alex. I looked over and they were both staring at me. It was very weird. PLEASE tell me what it means. I'll bite anyone who says that I want to be a hispanic girl.

Memories are Kept with the Nose.

2006-01-16T12:15:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, I found a connection I have unexpectedly creating linking important memories of mine. The connection is that of smells. Certain smells bring out memories of mine. A deeper connection is that they both started and are about soaps. Jasmine soap connects me to my childhood. Irish Spring Icy Blast connects me to England. I did not mean for the conection with my childhood to happen but I meant for the England connections. I made the England one happen. How? Use a soap with a distinct smell that I haven't used before. So now, when I use that soap, [which is regularly] I can only think of England.

Any new memories that I may have can be remembered with a new smell from a new soap. Try it on me sometime. I have an astute nose the size of Rhode Island.

I love my sister.

2006-01-11T17:51:00.000-05:00

Connect Disconnect

2006-01-08T11:24:00.000-05:00

Bad omens and scary thoughts have been floating around me the past few days. I was a witness to the signing and a helping decider for my Grandma's Advanced Directive or something. It's like a living will where you can put that if your in a coma you decide if you want your tubes pulled or not, the life sustaining ones. I would never ever want to think of such a thing or be a signified witness to it.
This all happened at my Mom's uncle's house where we discussed this and other things. We also discussed the amount of murders in this county, the highest in the nation. Feeling kind of bad since then.

New Light of Tomorrow

2005-12-29T14:17:00.000-05:00

I hope to use this time I have before going back to college wisely. I want to do stuff I haven't done in years to rekindle any old feelings. I might also change a few other things. Not much though because I still want to be who I originally am. I'm trying to find more good music to listen to. So far so good.

Dreaming the dream is the hard part.

2005-12-18T11:30:00.000-05:00

"If you dream it, it will happen. Just because it may seem ridiculous doesn't make it impossible. It's beauty alone makes it transcend from only the imaginable into reality."

I hide my emotions. It may seem ridiculous but it seems sort of rationale. I don't mean this is the reason for why I don't laugh much, some things are just not funny to make a laugh.
I don't tend to smile much. I prefer the Duchenne, not the Pan American. It's not forced and as scary. Laughing or some words from someone I care about makes a true Duchenne emerge.

I have a most peculiar walk. It's like a compilation of many things tied together. I don't mean the Chicken-Egyptian, although that would be most spectacular. I also don't mean to such extremes as Freestyle. I tend to be fast paced, getting to my destination in an utmost timely manner. You'd think I'd miss something, the process of the journey. Most of the time I feel the destination means more than the journey. I do have a slower, carefree walk. I don't get to use it much, that's all. Not too many reasons. More business over pleasure these days.

If turned my image into a blank canvas. My hair grows long. My clothes stay the same. I am missing a great direction in both departments. I should probably prefer the general but being sort of out of mind makes everything more saturated. My only problem is the condition of my skin because other features I cannot change. My hands grow sweaty in fear. My eyes grow weak from exhaustion. But, I don't care. It's just another aspect of emotion.

I like to be unique, but you can't really be called unique by yourself. Someone else has to give that title. All I can say is that I have an eclectic mind. Liking, loving, cherishing, wishing, wanting different things than anyone else makes me happy. I am my own category. Well, technically everyone is unique in that way but not everyone cherishes it.

I hide my emotions not just to protect myself but to make sure I live to my own standards. I shouldn't say I'm trying to be "real" because that term now seems to be used too many times. Nor I guess I should be saying that I am trying to be "me".

Can't I just say I am just trying to be? Damn, I think that's a commercial or a movie. I watch too much damned television.

Extended Absence

2005-12-13T15:36:00.000-05:00

In one week this semester should officially be over for me. I have no more classes but just days of final exams and turn in work days. One good thing is that I shouldn't need to study too much for any of these exams. My only concerns are with English class and my photo class.

I can't wait for my break. This weekend we're putting up our lights and tree, fake of course. We stopped getting real trees many years back. It's quite a job to bring in a real tree and besides, trees aren't really meant to be harvested. It's like on Thanksgiving many turkeys are killed, only it's with trees.

It's quite boring around here. Much more time for fun elsewhere, unless it's my friend falling on the ice over and over again. Then I would consider it.

The Music of Life

2005-12-02T22:30:00.000-05:00

We need more street performers. I feel that there is a lack of them in daily life. The idea of good true music played by people who play just to play is basic yet it feeds someone we lack. I'm not sure to include those who play to earn money but if they use to to improve themself and their music then they can enrich our lives as we enrich theirs.

People seem to notice me more these days. I don't know why but I see more smiles in the faces I pass. Of course they are of the opposite sex but it's still weird. If you knew how I look daily you'd think I'd get the opposite. I have the German coat, the hoodie underneath, the Cuban-esque and my changing dark lenses. I just defined the anit-social, I think. I think I might say "Hi" more to people.

Unknown Assailant

2005-11-28T00:30:00.000-05:00

There is a Mr. Hyde to my Dr. Jekyl. I don't necessarily become evil but I become more open, less shut out to what I want to say. I never reveal my other side unless it's with people I trust. And I don't trust many people. But then there's different levels to what I trust people with, from secrets of my mind, to things I keep back myself.

When people say something nice about you and you deny it, the person who said it feels bad or mad. They tell you what you think and then they diminsh anything you say. That's kind of depressing isn't it? I hate it when a person doesn't take a compliment.

I myself have rejected good things people say against me but I try to be joking sometimes, denying it but saying thanks at the same time. When a person says that to me I know they truly care about me and how I feel especially coming from a person I love.

Raining Gold

2005-11-24T01:00:00.000-05:00

It finally snowed for the first time this season earlier tonight, well, now it's called yesterday being it 1am. Just a dusting of snow came but the feeling it creates is like what a small fat kid feels in a candy store.

Break started today. I have to work my butt off yet have a good holiday in the next four days. Quite a feet I have to pull off. Some of it is fun stuff, and some of it it pretty easy but it's still work. My life doesn't progress much. If any it's a little and sparingly, just the words the small fat kid missing on the food pyramid. Go figure.

I reject reality and substitute my own

2005-11-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

Winter is already on its way. Its bags are packed full of wintry goodness and it travels East. The leaves are almost fallen and the flu is revving its engine on the land.

I had so much to talk about but now I have forgotten it all behind the feeling of hunger.

I finally has hit by that critical moment in my life. Its the tell-al feeling like when you finally realized your best friend has died and is not coming back anytime soon. A montage appears with yourself staring off into the sky as the camera backs away slowly. The other day I felt like I didn't belong at home anymore. I am not considered their baby boy. I am this thing now called an "adult son" who just "spends" time there occasionally. But I am different. I still retain that feeling of being a teenager. In my mind I am just the age of fourteen while the rest of myself begs to differ. Its weird though. At the age of fourteen I thought in my mind that I act more to the age of something even lesser, say nine. In three years or so I will begin to act the age of a child while being called an full adult.

Some days I feel like I am living in "The Kevin Show" parodied off of "The Truman Show". It's quite scary when you think of life that way.

I've thought of things lately in which I would like to do before I die. Of course some are off the collar and some are just plain quirky. And yes, some of my ideas are stolen from some television media. My ideas have ranged from dancing to music in my underwear with some special friend to living in a small house beside a lush mountain. I've had many ideas and thse don't scratch the surface. These are things you don't do with your blokes.

I'll have more later.

Rising Leaves

2005-11-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

A few days ago it finally smelled like fall. Harry Potter Premieres in 5 min!
Someone remind me to post a real entry tomorrow.

A New Head for my Neck

2005-11-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

Haircut today. Freaked out. Damn'd scissors.

Lend Me A Five'r

2005-11-11T15:30:00.000-05:00

I feel alone for some reason when I should be feeling more apart and whole again. I don't know.

PhotoClass

2005-11-04T12:45:00.000-05:00

Negative to Positive

2005-11-04T12:30:00.000-05:00

Russian Roulette?

2005-11-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Russian tea can kill you. I had some "yesterday". Tasted like normal black tea. Who knew. I developed pics of me in the corn field. Both came out and should be printed by Tuesday, I hope.

For my birthday yesterday...

2005-11-01T15:00:00.000-05:00

A Day on the Farm

2005-10-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

Lose Weight Fast!

2005-10-22T19:30:00.000-05:00

It was sooo unhealthy, dehyrated and trying to sweat any water left in my body. The concert was fine, not great. Me not liking any of the music didn't help to much. About ten moshpits formed; I stood directly next, and almost in nine of them. Got hurt twice, once from a mosher and once from a crowd surfer. I have a red mark and a sore nose from the kick to the face that surfer gave me.

Out of all of this, I stood there to get my money's worth, dehydrated and in need of a pee. Reggie and the Full Effect and Alkaline Trio opened for My Chemical Romance. Reggie is a sick fat bastard. None of them were as good. Concerts never seemed as good to me unless you are one of those people who get up and jump around while listening to their cd. All I do is just site there. That's it. So, I just stand there at concerts. I don't get moved by the music physically but emotionally.

Lots of work due his coming week. Lots of stuff to do over this short weekend.

Reel Emotion

2005-10-19T14:30:00.000-05:00

Two nights ago I had a weird dream. In the dream I was in some alternate dorm place and I kept walking around with someone. I then entered one dorm and i started to makeout with some random girl. She looked familiar but I can't recall who. I was a weird dream first. I am still trying to remember all of it but it's hard.

Much work to be done this week plus a concert on Friday. Eeek!

The Not So Reluctant Idiot

2005-10-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

My life now sucks, period. College is complete crap right now. Photography is riding me like I am rounding the final leg in the Kentucky Derby. I smell of darkroom chemicals, my eyes burn as they constantly try to focus themselves in the light, my back aches in pain, and I need my daily shower. The weekend will only bring a brief moment of relaxation before the next project due on Monday. As I right this I am trying to fix my back by laying across this chair.

Doesn't work.

I went to the Rennaisance Festival. I'll give a better report of it later because I should be going again in the future with my sister.

Achilles' Heel

2005-09-27T11:00:00.000-05:00

Lots of stuff due this week. Lots and Lots and Lots. I love photography but the class is killing me. I can't do anything right in it. * hugs digital camera * It's so much easier. I have to work on it today more. The pictures won't come out on this stupid paper. I don't know what will happen when I turn in the crap I make on Friday.

Silent Mood

2005-09-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

This weekend was our annual trip to the ocean. Lately the whole joy in going on this vacation has died. This is maybe because it is an annual thing and we have finally outgrown it all. I could only go two days this year because of college but any time there and at the beach is worth it. This time was weird cause I was able to find a weak wifi signal from our time share. I could only get on IMs and it was a very fickle signal.

Anyway, I bought two rings while one the island. One was a replacement of the 99¢ ring that I broke after trying to fix it after someone I knew tried to wear it. The other ring was a mood ring. Currently I am full of of 'Mixed Emotions' or 'Romance'. You choose.

Another weird thing happened last night. There was lightening and yet no thunder. The lightening seemed very close yet no sound, silent...

A Hand to the Heart

2005-09-15T21:00:00.000-05:00

Well it's a lonely road that you have chosen
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
And it's a long time since your heart was frozen
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know

That it's a lonely place that you have run to
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
And it's a lonely end that you will come to
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know

For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know

Everything seems to be a blur. Nothing is ever clear. The world seems drenched in a shot glass. I can never escape the future. Will you run away into the forest with me?

Brok'n Back

2005-09-09T22:00:00.000-05:00

Like an underpaid porter I trudge across the campus holding many bags, boxes, and dodads which change my height with every step I take. I go home each weekend to seel in a real bed and to take my mind off the hectic schedules of college life.

This weekend, well starting yesterday, is four days of fun with the County Fair! Yippie! After you pay up the butt for admission you can let loose on very bad food and smelly goats! Let us all hug the goats while shoving chili dogs in our pie holes! People, huh? It's fun anyway.

Nothing’s gonna change my world

2005-09-03T14:30:00.000-05:00

"Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind,Possessing
and caressing me."

My whole creative process has died. It's hard for me to think up anything to create. And if I ever do think of something then how can I be sure I am fit to carry it out?

Groundhog Day

2005-08-29T20:00:00.000-05:00

One day in my mind keeps being relived over and over again in what seems may become a relentless cycle I will partake in the ongoing year. It feels like a bad event I can only wish was a dream.

Two-Step Skip with a Fall Down Finisher

2005-08-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

People: The mass of ordinary persons; the populace.
Person: The composite of characteristics that make up an individual personality; the self.

An Ordinary person...wel, what if you aren't ordinary. Do the characteristics of oneself that create the self being make an ordinary person? If we are who we are, not deriving from thyself, then that alone makes each of us a person. According to the definition of people, being a person also defines the person as being ordinary. So, no matter who we are makes us a person which in turn makes us ordinary and a part of the populace. I guess being weird doesn't make us a different person but a way in which we handle ourselves in the world. We may be progressing with humankind but we are able to have a different way of walking towards our destiny.

One question makes me wonder of the true connection of what people share, the reason for the way in which we walk. This is they key to understanding where we stand next to each other in this 'populace'. We can share in the result, the progression, and maybe in the beginning of the thought structure of some people but that does not necessarily makes us understand the actual thoughts behind the actions. Some people are good enough to understand who others are, but others can only learn the way in which we walk from the actual person. I need the key or another way of finding out the reason in which people walk the way they walk.

How meaningless have I spent my day, eh? Maybe I'll understand people in college, either that or I'll find a new way to dislike mankind.

Mullet

2005-08-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

My hair just keeps on growing. I think I need a hair cut. I get some nasty bedhead now that sticks up like a foot in the air. Quite crazy.

Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice

2005-08-14T22:30:00.000-05:00

A large anime convention is upon me and I have decided to cosplay, to go in costume. But those were under conditions that I bet I cannot be held against. There's not much time for me to alter the materials I need to buy. I have to go to the store, alter the shirts/sweater/jacket I get and then clean up the wings I got last year. I should have planned this earlier but things happened. I should have planned for the unplanned events.

It's not like anyone will care. I just liked the idea of being one with the masses but I am not that sort of a person. It will ony be fun in numbers. I usually am by myself during these events, especially this year with one of my friends not going.

I am still in the final stretch until school. I bought a few more sketchbooks to use to still my sanity. I have to read a book before the end of two weeks. It's quite boring and repetitive up to the one main point made over and over and over.

This summer has not been an exciting one........................................... [Picture possible soon.]

Two Skips, a Walk, and a Fall

2005-08-10T13:30:00.000-05:00

Nine days until the next anime convention I will be attending. Sixteen days until I move into the dormitory of my college. Fifteen days until I can cherish my life. Life changes for the worse that day. Any memory of any child-like qualities of my soul have to be squashed to pretend to live up to any standards placed by a new ruler. This sucks. Convention help me.

One Fine Morning, until................

2005-08-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

Lien, you were in a dream of mine. Yep. For some reason I seemed really tall and you somewhat short. I have no idea what that meant but there was much more to it. I want you to come online.

Anyway, horrible afternoon I am having. Something sooo good ending in such a bad way. I got my dorm info from my college. I have my desired roommate, I have my worst fear for a room. That is soo messed up.

The End is Near

2005-07-28T18:00:00.000-05:00

My last art class of the summer is on Saturday. It closes my current torment of yet another girl named Rachel. It's been fun though through these few weeks. Now i am driving school to contend with for two weeks. I have a pretty good teacher that doesn't talk down to us so that's what makes the difference. Only one thing about this course is the 6 hour driving part with the instructor that i have to complete. I am pretty scared about that. He thinks we could drive like to the beach and back, or to probably like West Virginia. Scary. Even worse news then that is that I have a doctor's physica tomorrow. Meeep.

I need crazy stuff to do to distract me until school starts again. Anyhthing will do.

My Obsession, My Torment

2005-07-26T18:00:00.000-05:00

I have a problem, well it might not be a problem but more of a scary sign. Someone up there is REALLY messing with my life. This does not feel like a coincidence anymore because it has just gotten out of hand. Every girl that I have been interested in the past two years goes by the name Rachel. It happened twice this summer. Is that name supposed to tell me anything? I will be scared the next time it happens, and I know it will happen again. It has to and when it does I'll be scared. I might scream , I don't know because it depends on how I am feeling at the time.

Keep in mind these girls aren't just anyone in the street but girls I have talked to and want to get to know better, like to become friends. It's like I should name my first kid Rachel. I don't know. I need to think.

Forever Connected to Me

2005-07-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

I am in the middle of a string of art classes in my area. Very hectic, VERY time consuming. The only day off is today. I haven't had a haircut in a while and it is getting crazy. I can't see with it in my eyes while I write this post.

I got another Hooverphonic CD yesterday. Guess which one.

When it feels...real...

2005-07-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

Last night I had the weirdest dream with more combinations of different things than ever before. Mostly my dreams are comprised of things I see on television. From what I can remember, this dream involved a World War II movie, The Whole Nine Yards, that Into the West show, and two of my friends. It was set in my backyard, down the forested hill and onto the golf course. My friends, two WWII soldiers and I walked down the hill. I told the soldiers where to set up their turrets pointing to the left. Native Americans where on the golf course with tepees and just hanging out. [We where not fighting them, just next to them] The next thing my friends were fighting over a Gameboy. I won't go much into detail but it was one complex argument.

The part that strikes me most is the work friend of Matthew Perry and soon to be wife of Bruce Willis in the movie looked liked a girl my age or a little older that showed up out of no where.[Link is of the actress's pic] Automatically I went and walked and talked with her. In the adjacent camp she then stopped and kissed me. What threw me off more than the kiss was that it genuinely felt R.E.A.L. You know that you can't feel anything in a dream? I should know this more than anyone else since in many dreams I fall to the ground from very high and get up and just keep walking.This felt soo real. Now, just to prove any idiots wrong someone did not kiss me while I was asleep cause my bed is oriented in a way in which you cannot reach my body's upper section. Also, I can't believe I kissed my bed or something.

Most of you know that most if not all of my realistic, as in it could happen in real life, dreams do come true. I have many dejavu[I don't know French] moments much later after the dream that are exact matches of the dream itself. This dream cannot come true but what does this mean?

EDIT: Thirty minutes after this post I find out the same actress, Amanda Peet, is on a repeat of Conan O'Brien. I am now scared. This doesn't explain but frighten me.

The World is Not mine

2005-07-03T22:30:00.000-05:00

In thirty minutes is the celebration of the birth of our country. Nothing much happens except for fireworks, drunk people, and a gigantic celebration downtown. It's quite a big day in the capital of our country with even still old cannons being fired during the event's close. Tonight actually I heard some more local fireworks ringing in an early celebration for those too scared of the masses present tomorrow. I may or may not go somewhere to view the fireworks. I dislike loud noises. To me it brings the same feeling of someone yelling into my stethoscope. How fun.

I bought my first Hooverphonic CD a few days or so ago. It's their first so it's quite different sounding than more recent albums. There is one album I particularly fancy but it'll cost me $23. Yeah....

Sell my past, Buy my future

2005-06-24T22:30:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow we are going to a community yard sale event up the road a bit to sell mostly my pastime childhood toys and other knick knacks. I think I might hang back during the sale so that I don't really sell my own stuff. I'd would turn out to be one mean seller who doesn't haggle but sky rocket the prices up their ass as to scare their pointing eyes away. Tomorrow I must be there with my dad as he sells my childhood while my sis and mom go to a wedding of my mom's best friend's daughter.

I guess I can get five dollars out of all of it cause my stuff would probably be made to be priced five cents each. I know I will be screwed then laughed about it.

The other part of my weekend will go into building the rest of the computer here and preparing still for Monday's orientation. Dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnn....... Sorry, Full House moment.

Countdown to Death

2005-06-16T14:14:00.000-05:00

I went to the allergist to see if I was still allergic to milk. I still am. Since I've always have had stomach pains he suggested to put me on a diet to root out if a food is the problem. Today is the first day.

I am starving. There is little readily availible food on the list. I am only 125 pounds now and I believe I will be like 110 in a matter of days from this diet. They are "safe" foods that are expected to be ok for everyone to eat. I don't know how long I can last. My stomach aches now not from food, but the lack there of it. If I get worse, I am pulling the plug.

Fantasmagorical

2005-06-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

'Varekai' was absolutely wonderful live. :) We got there a tad late, DAMN YOU BALTIMORE AND DAMN YOU CASHIER AND RICH BITCH!, but we didn't miss only a couple minutes. I was thrilled to see it was the same original cast playing their respective parts, rather than temp people for each location. Our seat weren't in the middle but fairly in the front. I wanted to get a souvenier but they are damn expensive. I wish I could see this performance again or at least another. Below is a photo of what the mini town of tents look like.

I'm With Stupid, which is ironically myself.

2005-05-31T19:30:00.001-05:00

Jumping on a stairwell is not great fun. Now my head hurts and I have a great lump on my head. Thankfully I did not fall unconscious because that would have been my first and probably sucked. It's just my grandma and I home now cause everyone else seems to have a life or something. I don't know. I do know that I'd rather be somewhere else right now.
Anyway here's a picture I took 6 days ago in Annapolis...

It's Mystical, it's Magical, it's simply Mesmagigorical!

2005-05-31T12:00:00.000-05:00

I am starting a mental countdown til next Saturday when for the first time I get to see Cirque du Soleil live in Baltimore. They are doing Varekai which might be one of my new favorite performances. I have only seen their performances on video or tv so being in person should be even better. I put up a link to the site of this specific performance for you to see what I am talking about more clearly.

Bring in the Dancing Gnomes

2005-05-27T15:30:00.000-05:00

It's legit. I graduated. * dances with gnomes *

An end to a life is a terrible thing...

2005-05-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

Friday was my official last day of high school. Yesterday was the beginning and end of my first prom. Both took a while to begin but never took long enough to stay. I'll have a few pictures later because the ones that I have look absolutely horrendous in the way in which I look. If you really want to see them then ask in a certain way and you'll, well, get to see them.

In Bloom Again

2005-05-10T16:00:00.000-05:00

Much work to be done before we go out and play. The end of the tunnel is near yet we are never close to ever being there. The countdown begins, our thoughts are strung out to gasp for air, and we fall. Flowers remind us of the short cycle of our pinnacle and death. Reflected in each petal we see ourself. Below is a picture I have taken of the azalea bushes in out front yard. God speed.

Misplaced Stick

2005-05-06T15:30:00.000-05:00

I have many projects due in the next 5 days which will finally create the end of me. But, 5 more weekdays and I am officially done with classes. Then all there is are 4 days of exams. [And I don't really have that many it turns out.] To finish this short spurt I will include the picture of my pigs. Enjoy.

don't eat yellow AND pink snow

2005-04-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

I have posted before this but it got messed up, again. I saved a copy of it but the computer that had it is currently broken. So, this short post is just to show seven pictures from this past Saturday at the National Cherry Blossom Festival. Enjoy.